Tantrum anyone?

We have more house than we could buy, even if I worked full-time. The reason David was able to buy the house was because he inherited half of it...Did I mention this is the house David was born into? (Not born IN, but came home from the hospital TO.) YES, we live in the house David grew up in. Isn't that a blessing? It really is! I whole heartedly believe that!

BUT...being the really big sinner that I am...I have complained regularly about our amazing home. While I love the size of our home, and our property, I have been discontent with the style of our home. I have even made comments like "If we were millionaires could we tear it down and start again?" Yes...I'm afraid I truly am THAT wretched. How David puts up with me, only God knows...

I have complained about a lot of things around this house...the cedar walls going up the staircase and in the entryway...the mottled blue carpeting...the less than perfect heating and air systems (YES, we have more than 1)...but most of all, I think I have complained about the kitchen. Not just the missing cupboard doors (you can read about that here: http://david-and-colleen.blogspot.com/2008/08/giggles-and-squeals-of-joy.html), but the fact that the whole kitchen is almond, and I prefer white...I dislike the design, I dislike the style of the refrigerator - PARTICULARLY that it doesn't have the ice/water door feature and I have to constantly buy bottled water because the well water is gross to me, I dislike the size of the kitchen, I dislike the tile floor, I dislike the unfinished doorway, I dislike the garden window that I am too short to reach to water a plant no less clean the thing, and ashamedly, the list goes on...and on...

Maybe you think this is normal...maybe you think it's just the way God made women - to conquer the home like men conquer their jobs...I certainly have been justifying my opinion all these months. But yesterday, after I read an article sent to me by my friend Brenda (which you can read here http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001807.cfm), I had to finally ask myself "What does GOD think about the way I have been thinking/acting/speaking?"

The article entitled "Eat Bitter" was talking about complaining during TRIALS...and the writer referenced Psalm 31:14-17:

14 But I trust in you, O Lord;I say, “You are my God.”15 My times are in your hand;rescue me from the hand of my enemies and from my persecutors!16 Make your face shine on your servant;save me in your steadfast love!17 O Lord, let me not be put to shame,for I call upon you;let the wicked be put to shame;let them go silently to the grave.

Now, if I was complaining about my mom being so sick...I would be - most assuredly - convincted by this verse. But I wasn't complaining about something that's a real trial...I was complaining about the blessing God has given me in my very home! I feel sick to my stomach just typing this...I was complaining about style and color...not just preferring something different, but carefully nurturing the embers of bitterness in my heart until they became a roaring fire that was consuming my thoughts/words/actions, and was ripping down my relationship with my husband, not to mention my relationship with the Lord...Not to mention the seeds that must have been planted in Brianna's heart...

I have been making it known to my family, and My Lord, that I am not getting what I want when I want it!

2 Timothy talks about people who behave the way I have been behaving...

V. 1-5
But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.

AVOID such people? I'm not avoiding them, I'm LEADING them!

Now pay close attention...this is where I have to make a choice. To keep my focus on ME or turn it toward GOD...

I choose God!

Hebrews 12:1-2, 28-29
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

28 Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, 29 for our God is a consuming fire.

O God, thank You for saving me! Thank You that my sins have been washed white as snow! Thank You for opening my eyes to this area of my life...May You be glorified in all I think and say and do!

Needless to say...I had to repent to God, and to David, last night...both of them were so kind and gracious to forgive me.

SO, how are you doing with being content today? Are you facing trials? Are you grateful? Are you giving God the praise and worship He SO deserves? Let me know how I can be praying for you in this area! And, of course, feel free to ask me how I'm doing with it!

God's grace is amazing, isn't it?

More Than Conquerors...Again...

I stand AMAZED at God's thoroughness!

Only a week and a half ago I posted "More than Conquerors"...A recurring theme the Lord keeps bringing about in my life the past 2-1/2 years...and here it is again!

Okay, so to make a short story, which I would turn in to a very, very long story, hopefully a lot shorter than I'm capable of, here's what happened over the last few days that led up to what God did in my heart YESTERDAY.

We went to see family over this past "holiday" weekend. We left Thursday afternoon headed for our final destination: Ozark, Alabama. (YES, they REALLY let me go there!) Along the way we stopped in Marianna, FL for dinner with Uncle Zack and Aunt Juanita (who I LOVE to pieces! even though I had only met them once before...at my wedding!) They invited us to come back Saturday night for Aunt Juanita's birthday party and to sleep over and go with them to church on Sunday. Which, we agreed to do!

We went on to Ozark...And Dothan...We visited grandparents, cousins, Aunt Judy, friends of David's from college, and dear friends, Rodney and Susan.

Okay, side note...Rodney has a horse and TWO llamas! YES! Llamas! Brianna got to ride the horse, Breeze, and the llamas followed me all around because they were SO curious about Maverick (our amazing puppy). But best of all, we had a WONDERFUL time of Biblical fellowship...ending with prayer...including prayer for God to give us a baby! Okay, so we get in the car and I turn to David and I say "We are SO gonna get pregnant!" Did I mention how much I love Rodney and Susan????

Saturday night we made it to Marianna fine, although later than we wanted to...and mostly just visited a little then got settled and went to bed.

So, of all the wonderful qualities Uncle Zack has, one of them is that he cooks breakfast every Sunday morning for his church! We went and ate the most delicious breakfast I have ever had...well, maybe with the exception of that french toast I had in Haiti last year...

And while we ate Uncle Zack sat and talked with us. Some how or other the Lord brought the conversation around to the topic of clutter. Uncle Zack asked me if I was a neatnick or a pack rat. I briefly, no REALLY, briefly shared that I grew up in clutter and chaos and that for the last 10 years of so the Lord had taken me through a process of changing me...so much so that I became a professional organizer for a season. And that right now I'm really struggling with the fact that we live in such a cluttered, chaotic state because I am SO afraid of going back to where I was...

I did also share that clutter of the home had physical, mental and spiritual implications. (Physical: I can't get out of my own way, AND the number on the scale is going up and up. Mental: I'm overwhelmed! Spiritual: I find myself not living Proverbs 3:5-6. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight." )

About then, the Sunday School teacher got up to teach...and the gist of his message was: Are you radiating Christ?

If you know me, you know this hit home!

I was already starting to fidget! Lord! I want to radiate Christ! I want to GLOW with Your Holy Spirit! Have I been radiating lately? What would be hindrances? ...CLUTTER! Not clutter of the home, but clutter of my heart! Which, of course led to clutter of my home...Which in turn was an obstacle to focusing on time with the Lord each day...which in turn rendered me useless for anything! Yes, that good 'ole vicious circle again!

But, circle or no circle, the Lord knew what the true root of the problem was...and I began to ask Him to reveal it to me.

Then came the worship service...Let me just say this...God knew EXACTLY where he wanted me that morning, and it was at Christian Center Church with Uncle Zack and Aunt Juanita!

Let me take a moment to say that Aunt Juanita is not only one of THE MOST beautiful women I have EVER seen...she is literally the peace of God in the flesh! Just being near her is refreshing!

Okay, back to the worship service...We spent a lot of time worshipping to one song "Mighty to Save", which talked about the Savior being able to move mountains, being mighty to save, being the author of Salvation...

At first I thought the mountain was my parents' salvation...and it certainly is a mountain that I cannot move...but HE can.

But after ending the song Pastor Jack stepped up and said we're going back to it. We sang it over and over...and the tears began to flow...and flow...and flow...My parents' salvation wasn't the biggest mountain I had been trying to move...But what was it? My weight? My clutter? My missing menstrual cycle that has prohibited us from getting pregnant? No...these are just symptoms of the real sickness...

We transitioned into the message...and, believe it or not I promise it's true...Pastor Jack taught about being more than conquerors! YES, he really did! At that point I just wanted to stand up and thank everyone there for joining me for my personal message from God. lol

I listened, all the while still asking the Lord to reveal that mountain to me...And as always...He was faithful to do it!

The biggest mountain of my life...arrogance.

I am a self-sufficient, arrogant wretch! (duh!) I have been going about my day talking about God, singing to God, talking at God, but NOT surrendering to Him every minute of every day...I have been stiff-necked and rebellious...I wanted to be the one who decided where each minute of my day went...I wanted to be the one who performed miraculous deeds (decluttering this huge house in a day)...I wanted to be the one who moved mountains.

There it was...clear as day! So, to my knees I went!

Lord, please forgive me! You are THE ONLY ONE who can move mountains! I surrender my everything to You and I ask You to teach me Your ways, O Lord.

Well, the clutter is still here...and so is my extra weight...I didn't have a quiet time yet today, and my cycle is still out of whack. BUT GOD, in His infinite kindness, has allowed me to be freshly aware that His grace is sufficient for me, and that it is not about my happiness, but my holiness. It would make me happy to wake up this morning with everything changed just the way I want it...but that wouldn't aid me in becoming more holy...so, I plug along...trusting His ways...leaning on His understanding...and anticipating the day when I look back and see that HE alone was glorified through my life and this process.

Please continue to pray for my parents salvation...and my weight, clutter and cycle...but most of all pray that I will continue to surrender ALL to Him.

I stand, as always, amazed by His grace...

Princess Sarah Update...

This is a recent picture of Princess Sarah with her mom, Alisha. If you didn't see my post on May 5th about Princess Sarah, you can click here to read it:

http://hesalwaysbeenfaithfultome.blogspot.com/2008_05_01_archive.html

Most days, multiple times a day, I get updates on Sarah's condition through Caring Bridge. Even though I don't know this family well at all, and I'm watching from a distance, the Lord has put them on my heart in a HUGE way. I not only pray for them, but I am inspired by them, and the Lord uses their walk mightily in my life.

Princess Sarah's treatment has been delayed due to an infection...it seems that is being worked out (the port was removed), but I'm sure prayer for a speedy resolution would be greatly appreciated.

There are many photos posted on the caring bridge site...but this one stood out to me...I can't help but be impacted by Alisha's countenance. The joy of the Lord is so obviously her strength! What a faithful God we serve!

Speaking of God's faithfulness...My theme song is heavy on my heart, mind and tongue this morning...If you have facebook and I'm you're friend, you can hear it here:

http://apps.facebook.com/ilike/artist/Sara+Groves/track/He%27s+Always+Been+Faithful

To read more about the details of Princess Sarah's current situation you can read about it here:

http://www.caringbridge.org/cb/viewJournal.do?method=executeInit

Please continue to pray for the Townsends...that precious family!

More Than Conquerors...

I don't know about you, but this was the image that came to mind when I thought about being a conqueror. Maybe it's my age, or maybe it's my movie-saturated upbringing...but when I thought "conqueror" I pictured Rocky Balboa, reaching the top of those steps in Philadelphia.

Think about it...He was the least likely candidate for anything. He used the wrong words, he did the wrong things, he wasn't the smartest guy around, he was from the wrong side of the tracks, and his days consisted of blood, sweat and tears.

BUT! In the end he wins the fight and gets the girl! He more than conquered his obstacles, until he reached victory.

So...why am I posting about this guy on my blog dedicated to the faithfulness of God? Because Rocky's story is a sad imitation of MY story. And, perhaps, yours.

I don't know about you, but my day is chock full of obstacles, waiting to either be overcome or to overcome me. More days than I would like to admit don't end up the way I had hoped...

I've been in a season (yet, again) of God teaching me the art of discipline. Discipline in eating...discipline in getting up each morning...discipline to spend time in His presence...discipline to care for the temple where the Holy Spirit abides and that I have been given stewardship...discipline in managing my household...discipline in training my child in the way she should go...discipline in training my puppy in the way he should go...discipline to complete the things my sweet, wonderful, adorable, grace-filled hubby asks me to do instead of getting distracted OR choosing to do the things I deem as more important...discipline to preach the Gospel to myself...discipline to put on the full armor of God to guard myself from the enemy... Discipline...discipline...discipline...

You see I, like Rocky, am the least likely...but I am the least likely to know a Holy God. I'm from the wrong side of the tracks...I say the wrong things...I do the wrong things...and all the rest. But, unlike Rocky, I don't have a trainer who is along side me, yelling at me, trying to get me to tap in to some inner strength. My Trainer carries me, He whispers lovingly in my ear, assuring me of His care for me. He lives in me, and HE is my strength...there is nothing I can do apart from Him but go my own way!

Discipline is something that will be with each of us all of our earthly days. We never arrive, we are never done!

BUT GOD...always SO kind and gracious...has placed me amongst some AMAZING folks in my NEW church family! I am suddenly surrounded by women who have a burden for me, and I have one for them. I haven't been THIS excited for a long, long time...

SO, two of my new friends (you know who you are!) asked me if I wanted to get together once a week to share with each other and pray for each other about one particular area of our lives...our weight. This is an ongoing battle for me. God has provided different means of grace over the year, and I have seen some success, but I always end up back where I'm headed at the moment. Somehow, I have not managed to make it a lifestyle change that STICKS!

I found myself somewhere between "I'm so excited about this!" and "What's the point, I always lose in the end".

BUT GOD, in His mercy, reminded me of a Scripture He gave me a couple of years ago...Romans 8:31-39:

31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be [1] against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33 Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. [2] 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I CAN make it to the top of those "stairs" and throw my arms up in the air...Not because I did it, but because GOD did it, and I praise Him with my whole body. I CAN do the work He calls me to do because He provides me with ALL I need!

Wow. That all just hit me...pretty weighty, I must say! =D

What area has God called you to be more disciplined in? I'd love to pray for you, so let me know what you're going through!

Amazed by His grace,

Colleen

Tony Lettieri

This is a picture of Tony Lettieri, a young man I never met, and his mom, Susan, who I met once 15+ years ago.

I received an email from Tony's dad, Joe (who I can't help but think of as Joey) - someone I graduated high school with in 1988...and who I have only seen once since graduation - which was also the time I met Susan. It was at church in Manorville, NY during the holidays, the year I cannot remember for sure.

Anyway, there have been a lot of emails going back and forth with different classmates because our 20 year reunion is this year...and amidst the "hurry up and send your money" emails came the only email I remember seeing from Joey...simply it stated that his "beautiful son" had passed away, and to please pray. SO, before I go on, please pray for the Lettieri family, they have had a huge loss. Sweet Tony had a 2 year battle with leukemia.

I have since gone to CaringBridge and read the whole story, 2 years worth...What an awesome family! To walk 2 years through a horrible illness with your child and have the sweet, peaceful countenance Susan does...Only GOD can do that!

You can read more here:

http://www.caringbridge.org/cb/viewMyStory.do?method=executeInit

So many thoughts have been flooding my brain...but I will only share one or two that are most prominent.

The thought that most overwhelms me right now "How AWESOME God is." I don't mean "cool", I mean "awe inspiring". I stand in awe of how BIG God is. Someone I went to school with for 2 years, who I haven't seen in over 15 years - when I was not even a Christian! - now, today, is someone the Lord has called me to pray for. And not just to pray, but to pray as someone who KNOWS loss. As someone who KNOWS how faithful God is because I have been through the fire and SEEN Him faithful through it all.

I am in awe of the great privilege God has given me to be such a person. (One who can testify to HIS faithfulness.)

I am in awe of His tapestry of grace, who crossed my string of life with Joey's 20 years ago and today has crossed it again...for HIS glory.

My mind is racing, wondering who else God is calling to pray for this family today, even though they have not been part of Joey or Susan's life in decades...or maybe even who have NEVER met Joey and Susan. Maybe it's YOU! Maybe God has designed me to ramble so that YOU will read this and be called to pray for them.

Again, I see the tapestry...Who will you tell about this family? Who will they tell? How many millions of people will be praying? All because GOD is sovereign and is the Master Weaver.

I all of a sudden find myself wondering just how many people prayed for me when my Tony died. I know there were people around the world - who I still don't know - because I had friends tell me their friend in ____ was praying for us...during Tony's illness and after his homegoing. It seems like every time I turn around there is someone who hears about my story and says "YOU'RE the one!" Huh??? "So-and-so told me about you when your husband was sick, and I prayed for his healing, and I prayed for you and your baby." And I get to stand there, radiating with the joy of the Lord, and tell that person "God has been faithful!"

Not only have we survived, but we have flourished! Brianna has had a relationship ALL HER OWN with the Lord from a VERY young age. I have been able to minister to SO many people who experience loss. God gave me a desire for Brianna to be homeschooled, and HE has provided for that ALL these years...even when I wasn't the one instructing her! The fruit of His faithfulness is SO evident in our lives!

Even now, 10-1/2 years later, God continues to be faithful in all areas of our life. The man Brianna and I cried out to the Lord about (separately) asking for years "Why can't he be the one???" IS the one! I have the dearest, sweetest husband. Brianna finally has a daddy! And I am SO grateful that each and every day God is faithful to show me just how specifically He designed David for me, and for Brianna.

It seems like all the wishes Brianna has made in her short life are being granted, one by one. She has a daddy, she lives in a wonderful home on a big piece of property in the woods, she has a pool, and, as of Sunday, she has her first ever PUPPY! (You can see his picture on the family blog: www.david-and-colleen.blogspot.com).

The only thing missing right now are the baby brothers and sisters! (Lord, any time you want to send them is good for us!)

Now, lest I be misunderstood...God is not faithful because He gives us things...He is faithful because HE IS GOD and He cannot be unfaithful. He was just as faithful when I had my miscarriage, and when Tony died as He was when He united David and I as man and wife.

It is so fun, though, that in His faithfulness He is also generously showering us with those things that have been on our hearts for years and years!

Are you looking for the tapestry? Do you see His masterful design that includes your string of life? Do you see the evidences of His grace in your life? In the lives of those around you? Are you waiting with great anticipation to be used? Isn't is so exciting to wonder just whose string He will cross with yours next? And what a beautiful tapestry He is making!

Thanks for sticking around until the end of my rambling...I hope you are excited about God's amazing grace as I am!

Princess Sarah

It has been so long since I took a moment to talk about God's faithfulness...but there has not been one moment that I haven't experienced God's faithfulness...

Today I am particularly aware of His faithfulness to/through a family from Metro Life Church, the Townsends. I have watched, from a distance, as God has been systematically transforming their lives with the Gospel.

In April their two-year-old daughter, Sarah, was diagnosed with cancer. She is in the midst of her 54-week treatment program consisting of chemo and radiation at Florida Hospital. As I read Sarah's mom's blog today (Alisha) I was so overcome with God's faithfulness! His unending grace is abounding! His goodness meets them with the daybreak! Oh, what a mighty God we serve!

Lord, thank You for the Townsends! Thank You for the precious family they are! Thank You that I got to see Your grace and mercy poured out on their lives this side of heaven! Thank You for building my faith today by Your marvelous work in their lives.

Lord, please comfort each of them during this season. Please continue to pour out Your grace on them in this time when You are transforming them into the likeness of Christ at an accelerated rate. THANK YOU that You have chosen them for Your own! May they be instruments in the Redeemer's hand for many years to come! May they be known throughout the earth as Your vessels, to the glory of Your Name! Thank You, Father.

You can read more about Princess Sarah and her family here:

http://www.caringbridge.org/cb/viewMyStory.do?method=executeInit

Thank you for praying for these dear folks!

Holiday Pictures

Here are David and I at his mom's house, kicking off our Christmas festivities...


Here we are at Castillo de San Marcos, aka fort in St. Augustine


Here are Brianna and Sydney...don't they look thrilled to be at the fort? lol

David cheers Brianna up... =D

The brothers Moore...


Brianna and Sydney rolling down a hill...David was already at the bottom...

The Bling!

Well, here it is! The long-awaited picture of my beautiful engagement ring! It's hard to get a good picture of it because the flash reflects off the diamonds. =D

Didn't my fiancee do a great job? Hee hee! It's still fun to call David my fiancee.

Our first two weeks of engagement have been fun! We got to visit family and friends over Christmas week, we renovated David's office, we visited two states other than Florida (including Alabama where I got my very first Auburn hat!), and had a day trip to St. Augustine with our best man, Sentell, and one of our groomsmen, David's brother Michael, and one of our bridesmaids, David's sister-in-law Angie...oh, and our flower girl - Brianna and her soon-to-be cousin, Sydney. We're tired!

Now you all know why I haven't made any updates to the blog...I haven't sat still long enough to write anything! lol

Anyway, here is the ring. We still don't have a confirmed date for the wedding because the church has been closed for the holidays. We are planning to have it in Orlando at Metro Life Church, and the date we are hoping to confirm is March 1.

That's really all I can tell you right now. We haven't even asked our attendants yet because we're waiting for the wedding date to be finalized.

Thanks for your excitement for us in this amazing time of our lives! We love you, our precious friends!

The story of our engagement...

On Tuesday, December 18, 2007 we were at Disney World's Magic Kingdom, one of our two favorite places to go. Standing between Cinderella's castle and Main Street USA, with Tomorrowland behind us David began an important line of questioning...

David: How do you feel about the Florida Gators?
Colleen: I HATE the Florida Gators.
David: Good. (nodding his head)
pause
David: How about the University of Alabama? Do you like them?
Colleen: Nope, don't like them either. (emphatic shaking of the head)
David: (nodding head, continuing to contemplate) University of Georgia?
Colleen: Nah...(with a wrinkled up nose)
more head nodding and pause
David: How about Auburn, do you like Auburn?
Colleen: I LOVE AUBURN! And as I told my friend, Jan Watkins, when we started courting, I've been a secret Auburn fan for years.
David: Good, good.
I am giving him my full attention.
David: Well, in that case, I have one more question.
David gets down on one knee and takes a box out of his pocket...and opens it to reveal my dream ring...
David: Will you marry me?
I looked right into his eyes and with a big smile said...
Colleen: I need more words than that...
As if he wasn't nervous enough, I ask him to give more!
David: Oh! I love you, will you marry me?
Colleen: Yes, David, I will marry you!

Before I could even hug him a very sweet couple stopped to ask if we had a camera for them to take our picture. We did, and they did, and above is the picture.

My sweet David, he started to shake like a leaf after the picture was taken. We were both SO in a daze...I think we wondered around in circles for a few minutes before we realized we needed to decide where we were going. We decided on the Haunted Mansion...and of course, our doombuggie got stopped - for several minutes - at the place with the bride holding a hatchet. David seemed a little nervous, so I assured him I do not own a hatchet. lol

After that we headed to our friends' house, Bob and Bonnie Anderson, to go out for dinner (which was planned before David knew he was going to propose that night.)

After dinner Bonnie asked us to come in the house so she could take our picture...we walked in to a surprise party! Most of my home group and a few other close friends were there to celebrate our exciting news and to toast our marriage, giving thanks to God for His kindness to us. We even had a toast from our friend, Rob Swanson, who has known me for 13 years, and David for 4. Rob shared how he and his wife, Lynette, have been praying for 10 years for God to bring the exact right man for me, and that they are SO glad that David finally "got it".

We all had a good laugh! It was a perfect evening!

A courtship ends...

Well, after two months David and I have decided to end our courtship...and start our engagement! More details to follow, but here we are moments after he proposed (on one knee) in the Magic Kingdom, sometime during the 4 o'clock hour yesterday...

Birthday pictures...

This was my AMAZING cake...notice the "boot"...We were at an Italian restaurant called "Buca de Pepos" (Joe's Basement). The food was great, but the company was even better! David's brother, Michael, took the pictures...although that means I don't have any of him to share with you!
This was me opening my new space pen...OH, by the way, I found my old space pen today! I was so excited!

This is a picture of David, Brianna and me.

This is a picture of me and my favorite girl! Isn't she BEAUTIFUL???

This is me opening one of my presents from Brianna...We love the "Love" movies! We can't wait to watch this new one!

Us again...

This is Angie (I love her!) giving Michael (her hubby) the "That's enough with the camera" look. Teresa (aka "David's mother" - I love her too!) is in the background.

Did I mention I had a great birthday?

My new space pen!

It may look like an ordinary pen, but it's not! This is a high-faluten space pen! This pen is designed for astronauts who have gravity issues while in orbit. You can write while upside down with this pen...you can write on a greasy piece of paper! AND, this isn't just an ordinary space pen (which I had and have somehow misplaced during the move), this is a multifunction space pen! You can use a black ink pen, a red ink pen, a pencil or a stylus with this baby! How you hold the pen when you press down the button on top determines which utensil is used. There are words written on different sides (you can see "stylus" above) and whichever one of the words is facing up when you push the button, that's what sticks out the point. It's ingenius I tell you!

Yes ladies, there are definite perks to having an engineer in your life. =D

It's my birthday!

Yes, today is my birthday...my 38th in fact. I love my birthday. There's really no reason...I just do. And, actually, I don't just love MY birthday, I love other people's birthdays too.

My day started with a phone call...from My Tracy who called me at 7am to sing "Happy Birthday" on her way to work. Tracy knows me SO well. (She's one of the two friends I used to develop the whole idea of "birthday week", which turned into "birthday month", and is lovingly referred to as "birthday trimester" by My David.) She knows my primary love language is "words of affirmation" and she excels at expressing (and helping others express) affirming words to me - especially on my birthday. Nothing like starting the day with warm fuzzies! =D

I walked out of my bedroom some time later - on my way to the car with my first armful of stuff that needed to come with us to Jacksonville today - and was serenaded again, by My Mary. AND, as I went out to the car there - written in blue on several of my windows - were smiley faces and "Happy B-Day Colleen!" Apparently the birthday fairies had come! (aka someone(s) with the last name Reel)

My mom called, My Tina called and sang to me, my brother Brian sent me a text, My Swansons called, I got an e-card from Jermaine and one of my Denises and a voicemail from My other Denise...

And tonight we're going to dinner with David's family...folks I love to pieces!

It's been a great day! I am freshly aware of God's love through those He prompted to speak words of love to me today. He is so good to me! I know I do not deserve all the love I am accustomed to having...but God obviously delights to pour it out on me...so I stand amazed and I receive.

Is there anyone on your heart today? Is there someone that the Holy Spirit just keeps bringing to mind? Pick up the phone and call/text, or send them an email. Just let them know you're thinking of them. You know it's true...just knowing someone was thinking about you changes your whole day. Come on, you can do it! Change someone's day!

Thanks to all of you who remembered me today! I am blessed beyond belief. Thank you for your faithfulness to listen to, and follow, the voice of the Holy Spirit.

Amazed by His grace,
Colleen

It is well with my soul...

Today is moving day! Well, at least the biggest part of the move...Tonight Brianna and I will be sleeping in our new home. I will be sleeping in my own bed after a month...I can't wait!

We are really excited about the new place, and living so close to the Reels...we love them! It is somewhat sad to leave this home though...it is where the Lord taught us to be homemakers...it's the first place in my entire life that I have really enjoyed living...And God has been faithful to remind us that all the things that made this home so special will go with us where ever we go...that HE will be with us where ever we go...

Still, there is turmoil that I am fighting back - seemingly each moment. God has poured out His blessing, providing more than ample help to get us moved this evening...now the panic is trying to set in that I haven't gotten enough done to accommodate the help I will have.

BUT GOD is my peace like a river, attending my soul. HE is worthy of my praise, even when I am a little stressed. So glad we have hymns like "It Is Well With My Soul"...several lines from this song are rolling around in my head, and I am SO thankful that I know enough of them to sing them to myself as I chip away at packing and preparing. Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to know; 'It is well, it is well with my soul.'

Lord, I thank you for my lot, I know YOU have sovereignly designed this lot for me. Thank You for knowing what is best...thank You for Your perfect timing...Thank You that You are faithful through it all...Thank You for Your abundant blessings and how thoroughly You take care of our every need. Lord, You are worthy to be praised!

Lord, I trust You to provide for ALL my needs today. I trust YOU to give me the strength to persevere. I thank You for my weakness Lord, because my weakness only more greatly displays Your strength. Be glorified in my life, O Lord!

It Is Well With My Soul
Music by Phillip Bliss, Words by Horatio Spafford

When peace like a river attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea-billows roll,
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to know;
"It is well, it is well with my soul."

Tho' Satan should buffet, tho' trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed his own blood for my soul.

My sin - oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin - not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to His cross and I bear it no more;
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, oh, my soul.

And, Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll,
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend-
"Even so - it is well with my soul."

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live,
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou shalt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

Fern and Bamboo...

A friend sent this story to me today...

One day I decided to quit…I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality…. I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

“God”, I said. “Can you give me one good reason not to quit?”

His answer surprised me.

“Look around”, He said. “Do you see the fern and the bamboo?”

“Yes”, I replied.

“When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

In the second year the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

“In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. The same in year four.

“Then in the fifth year, a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern, it was seemingly small and insignificant.

But just six months later, the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.

“Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots? I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you.

“Don’t compare yourself to others.” He said. “The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful.

“Your time will come”, God said to me. “You will rise high”

“How high should I rise?” I asked.

“How high will the bamboo rise?” He asked in return.

“As high as it can?” I questioned

“Yes.” He said, “Give me glory by rising as high as you can.”

I left the forest, realizing that God will never give up on me. And He will never give up on you.

What an amazing perspective...I'm so glad the Lord made me bamboo! Lord, may I rise all the days of my life for the glory of Your Name!

Be Still and Know That I Am God...

Do the waves in this picture represent the trials of your day? Do you feel like there are circumstances in your life that are about to crash down and wash you away for ever? Today has been a day - for several of us - that has seemed like we are the man standing there about to be consumed...A day when many of us have been asking "God, what are you doing????"

Today, in my circle of friends, there has been a mother of five who was wheelchair bound, a woman scheduled for surgery for uterine cancer who might have to postpone it due to pregnancy, a friend worried that I was stuck in a ditch somewhere, a single mom who was laid off from one of her jobs, a mom of 3 who has already been feeling like a single mom while her husband has been out of town for 2 weeks - who had a computer fry while one of her precious children was using it - resulting in the electricity for the whole house needing to be turned off for the night, and a single mom who needs to hear from the Lord about a job, a relationship, a move, and any other number of things...

God, what are you doing? What do you want me to see? What do you want me to do?

I have been asking these questions a lot in the last few weeks...and I always get the same answer. "Be still and know that I AM GOD." I hear it in the still small voice that speaks to my heart, I hear it in the music that randomly comes on my Ipod, and today I "heard" it as I opened a box packed 2-1/2 years ago in Atlanta and pulled out and opened a devotional I bought in 1995 and NEVER once used. There it was, right at the top of the page..."January 1 Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10

But Lord, I whine, don't I need to DO something???

As I was sitting in my comfy living room chair, whining to the Lord, the Holy Spirit began ministering to me. He prompted me to look up at the wall behind me...my favorite wall in the house...my navy wall. On my navy wall hangs MY picture. The picture that so captivated me that I stood in a shop in St. Augustine staring at it, mouth gaping open, while my friends continued down the street to other shops...the picture that I went to visit at the Christian bookstore for 2-1/2 months until God provided the funds for me to bring it home.

The picture you see above. A man is standing in the doorway and all around the lighthouse the waves are swirling around, about to crash down on the lighthouse and - it would seem - wash the man away forever. What is the man doing? Is he running for cover? No. Is he paralyzed by fear by what he sees around him? No. Is he holding on for dear life, bracing himself for the crashing waves that are seconds away from causing his demise? No.

He is standing, non-challantly, with a hand in his pants pocket, looking up to the sky.

He doesn't seem to notice what is going on around him. When I first saw this picture I wanted to yell "RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE OVERCOME!"

But before those words could form on my lips the Lord pointed out something that I instantly wanted to be the theme of my life...the thing that kept me standing there, mesmerized, for close to an hour that day in St. Augustine...

His eyes were toward heaven...he was so fixed on the Lord that it did not matter what was going on around him...he was seemingly unaware of what was going on around him.
That was it...the cry of my heart..."Lord, may I be so focused on You that nothing going on around me would be able to distract me. Lord, that my eyes would be fixed on You..."
So, what do I do on days like today when the boxes aren't packed, the laundry isn't done, no firm plans have been made to move us to our new home this weekend, I have questions about what I believe, my friends are hurting - in so many ways, and I don't have a job.
I fix my eyes on YOU LORD! YOU are my strong tower. YOU are my fortress. YOU are the rock in whom I trust. YOU will not be shaken! YOU will not let me perish! Those who trust in YOU will never be put to shame!So Lord, I wait patiently for You. I wait for You to lead, I wait for You to guide. I trust Your Holy Spirit to reveal Your will to me.
Do I do nothing? No. I keep packing boxes, I start the washing machine, I keep my eyes fixed on You, I read Your Word, I sing praises to Your Name, I cry out for You to save me once again...I accept the dinner invitation offered by one friend while calling another friend to offer them help for tomorrow...I trust YOU!

Psalm 46 God Is Our Fortress
To the choirmaster. Of the Sons of Korah. According to Alamoth. [1] A Song.
1 God is our refuge and strength,a very present [2] help in trouble.2 Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,3 though its waters roar and foam,though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,the holy habitation of the Most High.5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;God will help her when morning dawns.6 The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;he utters his voice, the earth melts.7 The Lord of hosts is with us;the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

8 Come, behold the works of the Lord,how he has brought desolations on the earth.9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;he burns the chariots with fire.10 “Be still, and know that I am God.I will be exalted among the nations,I will be exalted in the earth!”11 The Lord of hosts is with us;the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

Lord, I know the few people who I encountered today are not the only people who faced trials today. Lord, thank You that these are people You have placed around me to remind me of who You are. Thank You for Your faithfulness in each of our lives. May each precious soul I have mentioned know Your faithfulness in a new way. Lord, I pray that You meet each one of us where we are and comfort us. Lord, thank You for Your Word, that never changes. Thank You that it is living and active. Thank You that You have sent the Comforter to us. I praise You Lord for You are Holy! You are worthy of our praise! Nothing we are facing is too big for You! Thank You that You are our very present help in times of trouble! Lord, I wait with great anticipation to see how You will meet every need each of us has. Lord, may Your name be glorified in all the earth! Amen!

Joy in the Journey...

Well, David and I have been courting a week now. Boy, have I learned a lot!

First, I have learned a little more about how much God loves me. WOW. I am blown away by Him. The depths of His care for me seem endless...He so overwhelms me! (in a good way)

Something I have re-learned this week is that I am quick to forget that God cares about the journey...after all, it is the journey He has designed for me and He has a reason for it. Or millions of reasons! Only He knows.

The Scripture posted by my Uncle Bill has been ever-present in my thoughts the last few days..."But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles..."

"Waiting on the Lord" is how I want to be known.

That being said, I'd like to enlist the help of those who love and care for me.

To aid us in waiting on the Lord, and finding joy in the journey, not to mention guarding our hearts, would you please help us keep our conversations at the "courtship" level, and not encourage us to talk at the "engagement" level. Thank you so much for your help with this!

It is hard to wait and pay attention to the journey when you're excited. I hope it goes without saying that your prayers are greatly appreciated in this regard. THANK YOU for your faithfulness to our Lord and to us!

Even more amazed by His grace,
Colleen

Guess who's courting!

This evening I went on an outing with my long-time friend, David Moore. The purpose of the outing, to begin our courtship!

David and I met 6 years ago in Atlanta...we went to the same church, and he began attending the same care group as me. We've been good friends since the very beginning!

This evening we began by going to dinner, and once the waitress took our order David proceeded to tell me that he had spoken with my dad and asked Dad's permission to court me. He went on to tell me that my dad had given his permission, and then asked me if he may court me.

With joy overflowing from my heart I said "Yes" to courtship.

The "yes" was followed by David presenting me with a a small, rectangular, black velvet box . The box contained a silver chain and hanging from the chain was a beautiful silver oval pendant with diamonds around the face. I was so overwhelmed! How could I stand up under the AMAZING kindness God was showering me with! To have a godly man, who is one of my best friends, ask my dad for permission to court me AND give me diamonds???

It was so humbling! I can't even begin to understand why God is so good to me, but I am SO glad He is!

David and I enjoyed our time at the restaurant, although I barely ate anything...We went out for ice cream on the way home to a place that was my favorite growing up (Carvel)...then we went and picked up Brianna from my friend.

Brianna is OVERJOYED! Her Uncle President is one of her very favorite people! She and I were both smiling so much our cheeks hurt...yet we couldn't stop smiling! She took a picture of David and I to commemorate the occasion (above)...The picture below was this past Saturday at EPCOT...another fun time!

Our evening ended after the picture...David still had a 2-hour drive back to Jacksonville.

While many, and I do mean many, people have been wondering for years why we weren't a couple, it seems now is the Lord's timing for us. We are SO excited!

David, Brianna and I so need your prayers as we seek the Lord's will in this relationship. Thank you for your faithful friendship!

Amazed by HIS grace,
Colleen

A moment of reflection...

Then shall the young women rejoice in the dance,
and the young men and the old shall be merry.
I will turn their mourning into joy;
I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow.

Jeremiah 31:13

How this speaks to my heart today…

Ten years ago today I entered a new season of life. I became a widow. I was 27 years old, I had a 5-month-old baby girl, and the Lord took my husband home. I remember feeling like a hollow shell…somehow filled with peace, but hollow nonetheless.

I remember thinking how kind God was not to make Tony suffer another day, and to end my torment of wondering “when will he die”. I also remember thinking that if I wasn’t married within the year I would die. Not “I don’t want to be single more than a year”, but “I will die because I am not cut out to be a single person”.

God’s kindness has only increased with each day. Here I stand, a decade later, and the person I see in the mirror is not the person I saw that day. Instead of being hollow I am filled to overflowing. Instead of dreading the year to come I am bubbling over with anticipation of what God has in store. And I am more in love with my Savior today than ever.

As for Jeremiah 31:13, I am STILL a young woman, and I am moved to dance for the joy that God has placed in me. He has comforted me, and my mourning has been turned in to joy. I do not regret a single day of the last 10 years, I know that each moment was part of God’s plan to miraculously transform me…to teach me how faithful He is and will continue to be. Lord, please let this good work continue!

Yesterday a friend told me “faith” is a gifting of mine. That alone is a miracle! I was the biggest worry wart when I was a teen and into my 20’s. To be known as a woman of faith is HUGE!

I stand today in faith for what I once thought impossible. I keep my eyes fixed on the Lord to see how HE will make the impossible possible. I feel my face glow as I anticipate Him revealing the next step…I know that whatever it is, He will be glorified through my life and I am so grateful that He would use me, a wretch, for any of His purposes, let alone for His name to be glorified in all the earth! Oh Lord, how kind you are to me!

How about you? Are you rejoicing? Are you dancing? Does your mourning need to be turned into joy? Cry out to God for He is faithful! Whatever circumstance you are in, He is there…and He has a purpose for this season in your life. Be grateful for this time, it won’t last forever, but the fruit of it will!

During our time of worship on Sunday we sang a song that used to be a hope of mine…I have included the lyrics below. This time when we sang the song I realized the words I used to hope to be true in my life are now a reality of mine! Oh, how good God has been to me! I pray that if you are not in the place of these words being a reality in your life that God will bring you to that place! (I know He will!) Here are the lyrics:

So I’m lifting up my hands, I’m lifting up my voice, I’m lifting up Your Name, and in Your grace I’ll rest. For your love has come to me and set me free. I’m trusting in Your Word, trusting in Your cross, trusting in Your blood and all Your faithfulness. For Your power at work in me is changing me.

Amazed by His grace,

Colleen

It's Christmas in September!

That's what it feels like anyway...

As I type this a beloved aunt and uncle, along with their children and grandchildren, have all made the trek from Long Island to Disney World. We can't wait to see them. This is the aunt and uncle who shared the Gospel message with me through their words as well as their deeds. These are the cousins who have been more like siblings than cousins throughout my life, and their children like my nieces and nephews. We can't wait to see them all!

Why are we not out at the parks with them? Because, as if it wasn't huge enough to have them all here, God's blessings go on! At 5:42am my brother, Mike (aka Uncle Clem), is arriving from Las Vegas to spend the week with us also and we are at home preparing for his stay with us. How cool is that!!!

But wait, it doesn't stop there! It keeps getting better!

Uncle Clem adds a second driver to our car, so instead of going to Disney tomorrow we're making a quick trip to Atlanta to see my parents. (We haven't seen Pop since Christmas!) So we get to see Grandma and Pop, and the cats and dogs, AND even my brother, "Uncle Brian"! He's a standup comedian, and he'll be doing a show in Chattanooga, just an hour from my parents. Mike and I will be driving up to see the show, but Brianna will have to stay with her grandparents because she's not quite old enough to be at a comedy club.

After that we get to visit our old church and lots of dear friends, and even celebrate birthdays with my dear sisters in Christ, Tracy and Mary - with whom "birthday month" came into existence.

FINALLY on Monday we'll get to Disney and the NY relatives.

We'll have 3 days with them before MORE friends join us! On Thursday (9/27) our friends from Atlanta, The Coombs (Aaron, Shanna, Chandler, Carson and Dylan), as well as our friend from Jacksonville "Uncle President" (aka David) will be added to the mix.

The relatives and the Coombs will all be gone by Saturday, but Uncle Clem and Uncle President will be here through Sunday, when we hope they will go with us to church. We haven't been at church in weeks, and can't wait to be there on 9/30. As if salvation isn't enough God has so richly blessed us with SO MANY dear brothers and sisters, both natural born as well as adopted. HE IS SO GOOD TO US!!!!

I hope to post (with pictures) throughout the week and let you know how things are going!