Tantrum anyone?

We have more house than we could buy, even if I worked full-time. The reason David was able to buy the house was because he inherited half of it...Did I mention this is the house David was born into? (Not born IN, but came home from the hospital TO.) YES, we live in the house David grew up in. Isn't that a blessing? It really is! I whole heartedly believe that!

BUT...being the really big sinner that I am...I have complained regularly about our amazing home. While I love the size of our home, and our property, I have been discontent with the style of our home. I have even made comments like "If we were millionaires could we tear it down and start again?" Yes...I'm afraid I truly am THAT wretched. How David puts up with me, only God knows...

I have complained about a lot of things around this house...the cedar walls going up the staircase and in the entryway...the mottled blue carpeting...the less than perfect heating and air systems (YES, we have more than 1)...but most of all, I think I have complained about the kitchen. Not just the missing cupboard doors (you can read about that here: http://david-and-colleen.blogspot.com/2008/08/giggles-and-squeals-of-joy.html), but the fact that the whole kitchen is almond, and I prefer white...I dislike the design, I dislike the style of the refrigerator - PARTICULARLY that it doesn't have the ice/water door feature and I have to constantly buy bottled water because the well water is gross to me, I dislike the size of the kitchen, I dislike the tile floor, I dislike the unfinished doorway, I dislike the garden window that I am too short to reach to water a plant no less clean the thing, and ashamedly, the list goes on...and on...

Maybe you think this is normal...maybe you think it's just the way God made women - to conquer the home like men conquer their jobs...I certainly have been justifying my opinion all these months. But yesterday, after I read an article sent to me by my friend Brenda (which you can read here http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001807.cfm), I had to finally ask myself "What does GOD think about the way I have been thinking/acting/speaking?"

The article entitled "Eat Bitter" was talking about complaining during TRIALS...and the writer referenced Psalm 31:14-17:

14 But I trust in you, O Lord;I say, “You are my God.”15 My times are in your hand;rescue me from the hand of my enemies and from my persecutors!16 Make your face shine on your servant;save me in your steadfast love!17 O Lord, let me not be put to shame,for I call upon you;let the wicked be put to shame;let them go silently to the grave.

Now, if I was complaining about my mom being so sick...I would be - most assuredly - convincted by this verse. But I wasn't complaining about something that's a real trial...I was complaining about the blessing God has given me in my very home! I feel sick to my stomach just typing this...I was complaining about style and color...not just preferring something different, but carefully nurturing the embers of bitterness in my heart until they became a roaring fire that was consuming my thoughts/words/actions, and was ripping down my relationship with my husband, not to mention my relationship with the Lord...Not to mention the seeds that must have been planted in Brianna's heart...

I have been making it known to my family, and My Lord, that I am not getting what I want when I want it!

2 Timothy talks about people who behave the way I have been behaving...

V. 1-5
But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.

AVOID such people? I'm not avoiding them, I'm LEADING them!

Now pay close attention...this is where I have to make a choice. To keep my focus on ME or turn it toward GOD...

I choose God!

Hebrews 12:1-2, 28-29
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

28 Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, 29 for our God is a consuming fire.

O God, thank You for saving me! Thank You that my sins have been washed white as snow! Thank You for opening my eyes to this area of my life...May You be glorified in all I think and say and do!

Needless to say...I had to repent to God, and to David, last night...both of them were so kind and gracious to forgive me.

SO, how are you doing with being content today? Are you facing trials? Are you grateful? Are you giving God the praise and worship He SO deserves? Let me know how I can be praying for you in this area! And, of course, feel free to ask me how I'm doing with it!

God's grace is amazing, isn't it?