So, a year ago today David and I began our courtship...Funny, huh? Three days ago we had our 7th month-a-versary of being married, and we hadn't even been a couple a year yet. I know, I know, not officially. Thank you to all of you who regularly point out that we had a 6-year courtship. lol
I was thinking today about all that has happened in a year. How I went from seeing "no one on the horizon" to "could it really be?" to "okay Lord, whatever You want" in the matter of 3 weeks leading up to the courtship...how all through the coursthip I kept saying "I'm going to put it down now Lord" and He kept saying "I did NOT tell you to put it down"...and how through the engagement I kept asking "Lord, am I hearing You correctly? I'll call it off if this is not YOUR will"...but He always spoke very clearly that this, indeed, was His will for my life.
Sounds kinda weird, huh? Constantly asking if I should call it off?
Well, it was not for anything lacking in David...but the knowledge that my heart is deceitful above all things. I wanted to be sure that this was God's will for me, and not just me getting what I had wanted for a very long time...I wanted to make sure that I was not talking myself out of hearing God's voice...that I wasn't ignoring Him telling me "He is not the one" or "Now is not the time"...that I wasn't putting HIM in a box!
You see, I had made up in my mind years ago what I thought my future husband would look like spiritually...the words he would say...the things he would do...And David didn't necessarily use those words or do those things...
THANKFULLY I had godly counsel all around. And THANKFULLY I got to live with Jud and Mary during that season who challenged me ON A DAILY BASIS to listen to God's voice and not my own, or anyone elses.
As I pressed in the Lord kept reassuring me that this was His will...and this was the time...He kept prodding me along. As I think back on it now I see the picture of a baby transitioning into a toddler. The parent stands behind them and the baby holds the parents hands. The parent is behind, but their hands reach down and in front of the baby so the baby is reaching up and forward. The parent leads the baby forward, step by step. That's what it was like...
Then came the day of the wedding...And I could feel God's peace. I know it looked like a pretty white dress, but really it was God's peace I was dressed in. "This IS the man God made for me...and this IS the time for us to become man and wife." I can still feel the smile and glow that was on my face that day. I had no doubt...I was perfectly at peace!
Since we have become a family I have seen God working in Brianna and I in many areas, but particularly in the are of "Do not decide what it should look like, but let the Lord show you what it looks like". Everything from birthday parties to packing for a trip. And just like He did when it came to my future husband, God has continued to show us that He really does know what is best for us...
As I write this I find the Lord has impressed my single friends on my heart...male and female. And I believe He has a couple of questions for you..."Are you putting Me in a box? Do you trust Me to know what your future spouse looks like spiritually? Are you willing to accept the good gift of a spouse from My hand, or will you refuse it because it does not look the way you thought it would?"
My friend, Tracy, drilled in to my head for many years this philosophy: "Don't ask 'Is this okay?' ask 'Is this God's very best for me?'"
I'm SO glad I not only waited for, but also did not refuse God's very best for me. David truly is God's very best for me...and for Brianna.
I have watched with amazement how very specifically God designed David for us. I tell him on a regular basis "Boy, did we need you!" or "I told you we needed you!" Things we emotional girls never knew we needed have been provided for by God through David. We girls are so different now then we were 7 months ago when David and I said "I do"...and I think David is different as well. I think God designed us specifically for him as well. =D
Lord, thank You for Your sovereign hand in our lives...Thank You that You gave me ears to hear Your voice, even over the chatter in my heart...Thank You for fashioning just the right man for our family...and for continuing to work in all of our lives for Your glory. I ask that You remind David of Your pleasure with him for doing Your will and moving in Your timing, and not a moment too early or too late. Thank You Lord for sending me a true Boaz...which was my prayer for 10 years! You are SO faithful!
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