More Than Conquerors...Again...

I stand AMAZED at God's thoroughness!

Only a week and a half ago I posted "More than Conquerors"...A recurring theme the Lord keeps bringing about in my life the past 2-1/2 years...and here it is again!

Okay, so to make a short story, which I would turn in to a very, very long story, hopefully a lot shorter than I'm capable of, here's what happened over the last few days that led up to what God did in my heart YESTERDAY.

We went to see family over this past "holiday" weekend. We left Thursday afternoon headed for our final destination: Ozark, Alabama. (YES, they REALLY let me go there!) Along the way we stopped in Marianna, FL for dinner with Uncle Zack and Aunt Juanita (who I LOVE to pieces! even though I had only met them once before...at my wedding!) They invited us to come back Saturday night for Aunt Juanita's birthday party and to sleep over and go with them to church on Sunday. Which, we agreed to do!

We went on to Ozark...And Dothan...We visited grandparents, cousins, Aunt Judy, friends of David's from college, and dear friends, Rodney and Susan.

Okay, side note...Rodney has a horse and TWO llamas! YES! Llamas! Brianna got to ride the horse, Breeze, and the llamas followed me all around because they were SO curious about Maverick (our amazing puppy). But best of all, we had a WONDERFUL time of Biblical fellowship...ending with prayer...including prayer for God to give us a baby! Okay, so we get in the car and I turn to David and I say "We are SO gonna get pregnant!" Did I mention how much I love Rodney and Susan????

Saturday night we made it to Marianna fine, although later than we wanted to...and mostly just visited a little then got settled and went to bed.

So, of all the wonderful qualities Uncle Zack has, one of them is that he cooks breakfast every Sunday morning for his church! We went and ate the most delicious breakfast I have ever had...well, maybe with the exception of that french toast I had in Haiti last year...

And while we ate Uncle Zack sat and talked with us. Some how or other the Lord brought the conversation around to the topic of clutter. Uncle Zack asked me if I was a neatnick or a pack rat. I briefly, no REALLY, briefly shared that I grew up in clutter and chaos and that for the last 10 years of so the Lord had taken me through a process of changing me...so much so that I became a professional organizer for a season. And that right now I'm really struggling with the fact that we live in such a cluttered, chaotic state because I am SO afraid of going back to where I was...

I did also share that clutter of the home had physical, mental and spiritual implications. (Physical: I can't get out of my own way, AND the number on the scale is going up and up. Mental: I'm overwhelmed! Spiritual: I find myself not living Proverbs 3:5-6. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight." )

About then, the Sunday School teacher got up to teach...and the gist of his message was: Are you radiating Christ?

If you know me, you know this hit home!

I was already starting to fidget! Lord! I want to radiate Christ! I want to GLOW with Your Holy Spirit! Have I been radiating lately? What would be hindrances? ...CLUTTER! Not clutter of the home, but clutter of my heart! Which, of course led to clutter of my home...Which in turn was an obstacle to focusing on time with the Lord each day...which in turn rendered me useless for anything! Yes, that good 'ole vicious circle again!

But, circle or no circle, the Lord knew what the true root of the problem was...and I began to ask Him to reveal it to me.

Then came the worship service...Let me just say this...God knew EXACTLY where he wanted me that morning, and it was at Christian Center Church with Uncle Zack and Aunt Juanita!

Let me take a moment to say that Aunt Juanita is not only one of THE MOST beautiful women I have EVER seen...she is literally the peace of God in the flesh! Just being near her is refreshing!

Okay, back to the worship service...We spent a lot of time worshipping to one song "Mighty to Save", which talked about the Savior being able to move mountains, being mighty to save, being the author of Salvation...

At first I thought the mountain was my parents' salvation...and it certainly is a mountain that I cannot move...but HE can.

But after ending the song Pastor Jack stepped up and said we're going back to it. We sang it over and over...and the tears began to flow...and flow...and flow...My parents' salvation wasn't the biggest mountain I had been trying to move...But what was it? My weight? My clutter? My missing menstrual cycle that has prohibited us from getting pregnant? No...these are just symptoms of the real sickness...

We transitioned into the message...and, believe it or not I promise it's true...Pastor Jack taught about being more than conquerors! YES, he really did! At that point I just wanted to stand up and thank everyone there for joining me for my personal message from God. lol

I listened, all the while still asking the Lord to reveal that mountain to me...And as always...He was faithful to do it!

The biggest mountain of my life...arrogance.

I am a self-sufficient, arrogant wretch! (duh!) I have been going about my day talking about God, singing to God, talking at God, but NOT surrendering to Him every minute of every day...I have been stiff-necked and rebellious...I wanted to be the one who decided where each minute of my day went...I wanted to be the one who performed miraculous deeds (decluttering this huge house in a day)...I wanted to be the one who moved mountains.

There it was...clear as day! So, to my knees I went!

Lord, please forgive me! You are THE ONLY ONE who can move mountains! I surrender my everything to You and I ask You to teach me Your ways, O Lord.

Well, the clutter is still here...and so is my extra weight...I didn't have a quiet time yet today, and my cycle is still out of whack. BUT GOD, in His infinite kindness, has allowed me to be freshly aware that His grace is sufficient for me, and that it is not about my happiness, but my holiness. It would make me happy to wake up this morning with everything changed just the way I want it...but that wouldn't aid me in becoming more holy...so, I plug along...trusting His ways...leaning on His understanding...and anticipating the day when I look back and see that HE alone was glorified through my life and this process.

Please continue to pray for my parents salvation...and my weight, clutter and cycle...but most of all pray that I will continue to surrender ALL to Him.

I stand, as always, amazed by His grace...